je suis juste en train de rater ma vie.

Thoughts while writing essays.

4 weeks till deadline: So, I have four weeks to write 3,000 words. Four weeks! Remember that time I wrote 30 pages on John Donne on a Sunday? I got a 95 on that. I'll be totally fine. Just gotta email the professor with some ideas and I'll go from there.

3.5 weeks till deadline: Damn, my ideas are too broad. Ok I guess I'll just go with his suggestion or whatever. The origins of religious language... Sure. I can do that.

3 weeks: 3 weeks to write 3,000 words? Cake!

2 weeks: Ok, well I guess I should do some research. The Book of Job, what was that about again? It's funny how it's the same pronunciation as Gob in Arrested Development. That one episode where he--oh yeah, my time would be better spent rewatching it.

1.5 weeks: Oh shit, oh shit I don't know what I'm doing. What does any of this mean? I don't understand the words I'm writing!

1 week: Do I have time to change topics completely? I hate this. I hate ALL of this.

5 days: Is this graduate level writing? I feel like it could have been written with Crayons.

2 days: Don't panic. They couldn't really fail you, right? I mean nobody fails an essay... Fuuuu....

Deadline: Let's forget I ever turned anything in and don't ever bring up this topic to me again.

quand je rentre chez moi et je repense à mon essai...

Oh man, guys. I'm in week 9 of term one. And... I can't wait for this thing to be over. 270 more days...

je l'aime, je ne l'aime plus, et je me deteste du coup.

If being a graduate student means experiencing a spiral of hating then loving then hating then redoing everything you're working on, followed by haunting dreams of inadequacy and self-doubt, then I guess you could say I'm pretty good at being a graduate student. Yeah.