félicitations à moi

So, I've been in France a year now and that's been making me feel sorta... Uneasy, amongst other things. I mean, wow. A whole year... I was planning on doing other stuff after a year here. Well, actually I don't really know what I was planning on doing. But the midnight coronaries are back (what I call waking up in the middle of the night out of breath and heart racing) because I'm still bugging about the whole, "oh my god, what am I doing with my life!"

But I talked to someone recently who really put things in perspective. A year ago, I was living at home, waiting tables at my neighbors restaurant, doing the same exact thing I was doing before and during college. And that the whole summer, I was thinking that it sucks being broke and unhappy and doing something that doesn't even require my degree -- I wish I could just go back to France and do something with more purpose. I want to really live there, I want to improve my French and I want to do something awesome!

And so, a year later, here I am. Albeit my bank accounts are a little bit lighter than when I left, but I'm still here. And really, despite the midnight heart attacks, the occasional spout of homesickness, the bad moments I sometimes have with French people and the constant longing for Mexican food, I realized something so embarrassing that I can't believe I didn't realize it before.

I totally reached my goal, nerds!

I'm sorry if this seems arrogant or too self-congratulatory, but I think everyone should feel good about the things they've accomplished, and there's no shame in being happy for oneself. So, here's to me and my backsliding bank account. Even though I'm far away from being anything that could resemble successful, I'm still here. And I have two great jobs and I can carry a rather interesting conversation in French, if I do say so myself :)

go me.

Now, back to the bitching and moaning 'cause that's always more interesting to read about.

bisous