I'm leaving for a new adventure in approximately two months and as I tend to do when I get anxious and stressed in the face of a big change, I put off anything and everything to do with making the change possible. To fill you in, I'm going to be doing a Master's in English literature starting at the end of September in the north of England. Naturally then, I have yet to purchase plane tickets, confirm accommodation, take care of admin stuff, choose modules etc etc. At this point, I'm not really sure whether I'm more nervous because I haven't done anything yet or because doing it makes it more real. The few times I've sat down and searched for places to live or how to sign up for such-and-such, it only takes a couple minutes of looking on google maps street view or browsing course descriptions for anxiety to set in. I hastily close my laptop as the cursor hovers over unfinished emails and I resign myself to reading robot stories on my kindle.
Thinking back to how long it took to adapt to life here, I remember how stressed and weary and scared I was those first six months. Though moving to an anglophone country seems decidedly easier to take on, I still have this dreadful feeling that I can't really know what I'm getting myself into until I'm really in the thick of it. I envision myself having a biiiig Gob moment.
"get rid of the seaward!"
Except that the official acceptance letter has been mailed and this is happening, FOR REAL this time (echoes of all the whinging I did last summer about my not being able to go). In the wise words of Dan Savage, just gotta ovary-up and do it! YES! Doing it! Right after this chapter.
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